When You Start Doubting Your Own Mind
Narcissistic abuse therapy is trauma-informed therapy for people recovering from a relationship marked by manipulation and control. It helps you trust your own perceptions again and rebuild a steady sense of self. Katherine Barton, LMFT offers it in person in Mission Viejo and online across California.
The relationship may have been with a partner, a parent, or another family member. What tends to stay with people is the confusion: kindness one day and contempt the next, and stories about what happened that never match what you remember. Over time, many people stop trusting their own memory.
I won’t ask you to prove that the other person has a personality disorder, and I can’t diagnose someone I have never met. Our focus is what you lived through and what helps you heal.
How Narcissistic Abuse Can Affect You
The effects often look a lot like trauma, because that is what they are. You might notice:
- Second-guessing your memory or judgment, even about small things
- Walking on eggshells, or bracing for someone’s mood long after they’re gone
- Shame and self-blame, or an inner voice that sounds a lot like theirs
- Missing them, or feeling pulled back, even when you know the relationship hurt you
- Anxiety, trouble sleeping, or feeling on high alert
- Losing touch with what you like, want, or believe
- Difficulty trusting new people, or yourself, in relationships
A Trauma-Informed Path Back to Yourself
When someone’s warmth comes and goes without warning, your nervous system learns to stay on watch. It’s a bit like living near a train track: after a while, your body braces before you hear anything. That vigilance kept you safe enough to get through. In therapy, we help your system learn that the train isn’t coming anymore.
If you still miss them, that makes sense. Affection that shows up unpredictably works on the brain a bit like a slot machine: the uncertainty itself keeps you hooked. Trauma bonding explains why leaving can feel so hard, and why missing someone doesn’t mean the relationship was good for you.
I draw on somatic therapy to help your body settle out of high alert, Internal Family Systems (IFS) to get to know the parts of you that learned to appease or go quiet, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to untangle the beliefs about yourself that never belonged to you.
“Working with Katherine has been truly life-changing. She helped me navigate some very difficult and painful chapters of my life with compassion, honesty, and steadiness. I always felt heard, supported, and respected, while also being gently challenged when I needed it. Her thoughtful guidance helped me reconnect with myself and move forward with clarity and confidence. If you're looking for a therapist who is both warm and incredibly effective, I cannot recommend her enough.”
What Healing Can Look Like
Recovery is rarely a straight line, and there is no deadline. Over time, many people find that they:
- Trust their own read on a situation again
- Set boundaries without a wave of guilt afterward
- Spot early warning signs in new relationships
- Grieve the relationship they hoped for, as well as the one they had
- Feel more like themselves, sometimes for the first time in years
Who This Page Is For
This page is for adults who have been in a relationship with a partner, parent, or family member who was controlling or emotionally abusive, whether it ended recently or years ago. You don’t need a label for what happened to start. If part of you is still asking whether it was really that bad, that question is welcome here too.
If you’d like to read more first, Healing After Emotional Abuse is a gentle place to begin.
What Sessions Look Like
Sessions are 60 minutes. We start with safety and steadiness, and we go at your pace. You won’t be pushed to retell everything, and you can pause or change direction at any point.
“Katherine is fantastic! She has so much knowledge in IFS and other therapies. She's always professional and very caring. I always look forward to working with and learning from her.”
Serving Orange County and California
In-person sessions are available in Mission Viejo, with clients coming from Rancho Santa Margarita, Laguna Niguel, Aliso Viejo, Irvine, and nearby communities.
Online therapy is available anywhere in California.
Fees and Consultation
- Private pay practice
- Superbills available for out-of-network reimbursement
- Free 15-minute phone consultation
Getting Started
Reaching out can feel risky when your trust has been used against you. A free 15-minute phone consultation is a low-pressure way to ask questions and see whether working together feels right.
If you are in danger right now, call 911. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available any time at 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788.
“Where do I even begin. My work with Katherine has been nothing short of transformational. She has held the safest, most compassionate space for me to unravel, heal, and grow into the person I am today. The IFS work we've done together was immediately powerful and has created changes that continue to ripple through my life. Through our sessions, I've been able to do deep inner child healing that has softened parts of me that were carrying so much pain for so long. Because of Katherine, I feel more connected to myself, more grounded in my body, and more trusting of my own voice. She shows up with such presence, care, and wisdom, and I always leave our sessions feeling lighter, clearer, and more whole. I am endlessly grateful for her and cannot recommend her enough to anyone who is ready to truly heal.”