What to Expect in Your First Therapy Session

Most therapists, myself included, start with a free phone consultation before your first session. This is a short conversation, usually about 15 minutes, where we talk about what brought you to therapy and whether we might be a good fit. There is no pressure. You are interviewing me as much as I am getting to know you.

If we decide to move forward, I will send you some intake paperwork to fill out beforehand. It covers basic information: your history, what you are hoping to work on, and anything I should know about your health. Filling it out ahead of time means we can spend the actual session talking, not doing paperwork.

The first session is about getting to know each other. I will ask you some questions about what is going on in your life, what has brought you to therapy now, and what you are hoping to get out of the process. You do not need to have a speech prepared. "I do not really know where to start" is a perfectly fine place to begin.

I will also share a little about how I work so you know what to expect going forward. I use a combination of IFS, CBT, and somatic approaches, but the first session is not about diving into techniques. It is about building trust.

Some things you will not have to do in the first session:

• You will not have to tell your entire life story
• You will not have to cry (though it is fine if you do)
• You will not be analyzed or diagnosed on the spot
• You will not be asked to do anything that feels uncomfortable without your consent

Think of the first session as a first date, not a final exam. We are figuring out if the fit feels right, and you get to decide that.

While you are telling me about your life, I am listening for patterns. Not to judge them, but to understand them. I am noticing how you talk about yourself, what topics bring energy and which ones flatten it, and where your body tenses or softens.

I am also paying attention to the relationship between us. Do you feel heard? Can you make eye contact, or does that feel hard today? Are you performing, or can you start to let some of the armor down? These are not tests. They give me information about what you need and how to pace the work.

Almost everyone who walks into a first session carries at least one of these concerns:

• "What if my problems are not serious enough?" They are. If something is affecting your quality of life, it deserves attention.
• "What if I cannot explain what is wrong?" That is okay. Part of therapy is helping you find the words for things you have not been able to articulate.
• "What if I do not like the therapist?" That is important information. Not every therapist is the right fit, and a good therapist will respect that.
• "What if I get emotional?" That is not only allowed, it is often where the real work begins. You will not be judged for having feelings in therapy.

At the end of the session, we will talk about whether you would like to continue and what a regular schedule might look like. Most of my clients come weekly, at least at the beginning. Consistency helps build the trust and momentum that therapy depends on.

It is normal to feel a mix of things after your first session: relief, exhaustion, hope, uncertainty. Some people leave feeling lighter. Others feel stirred up. Both responses are normal and say nothing about whether therapy is going to work for you.

If you are considering starting therapy and want to talk about what that might look like, I offer a free 15-minute phone consultation. I see clients in person at my Mission Viejo office and online throughout California.